and i like that you listened to me.
i like that you respected my boundaries even though i miss your random showing up in my dreams or on my social.
there are different kinds of fires —those that blaze wildly, fast and furious, can cause damage, burn quick and then out. and there are sacred fires. fires started in ancient times and are ignited again and again with care and discipline. boundaries. care. respect. slowness. long hauls. i’m glad i had the wherewithal to avoid building the first kind of fire with you. and, that you let it be so. because of that, here we are. and to me, it feels good. i value you in my life and it feels good to have the door open; to have niibin flowing between us.
i like that we meet here now, that you listened to me. it makes my heart burn stronger. even as it means less of you in a kind of way, it means more of you in another kind of way that runs deeper in me. i can respect you. i can think of you righteously. i respect you. i think of you righteously. miigwech for letting that happen. and mostly, it means you care to let me know you know i am not a plaything. you will not do that even as i poked at your ego. taunted. tested. i understand full well that this may actually not be a listening, a caring, a boundary-respecting; that it could be a great retreat born from a “idgaf about this or you” and yet my heart tells me different. the great thing about meeting here is it’s safe for both of us. so, let me continue down the path of what my heart tells me:
i’m coming home soon and i wonder if the vibrations of our Ojibway world change frequency when we’re in the same territory. i will think of you when i’m there. sometimes, in this life at the beginning of the ocean, i steal away to think of you, to recall that beautiful fleeting moment of us. i close my eyes and recall some of our beautiful moments. oh.
and, i like to imagine that you steal away from your beautiful life once in awhile to think of me, too. i like to imagine a song reminds you of me or feelings we had. i like to think that you might, on occasion, want to be with your own quiet thoughts of me, alone, overlooking the lake or somewhere just in your daaban. that maybe on occasion you want to remember me. to feel the memory of our vibration.
you know, it’s not common for a man today to see a warrior in a woman and to love that about her. to see it and know it and still walk towards her. to see it and know it and be unwavering in his own warrior self, to know that combined it would just make more Ojibway beauty. you made me stronger in so many ways. and your kindness in that humbles me even as you were looking for something back i couldn’t give. i hope that the feelings were enough to ignite you. to make you want to live more fully, more vibrantly, more within yourself and accepting of yourself.
i like that we meet here now.
i wonder if we’ll ever see each other again.